The Art of Letting Go
I used to ask God to take away all the heartaches and pains in my life so that my happiness will be complete. I've prayed so desperately then, but recently I just realized that as long as I live I will always experience such things, so what I ask God these days is to teach me how to accept the things I cannot change, give me strength to change the things I can and find happiness in every circumstances. This may be my last letter to you, I've LOVED you, I still do, and will always LOVE you as long as I live. It's really frustrating that after all these years, after all we've been through, I failed to show you how much I care. I really feel SORRY that I cannot meet all your expectations and cannot love you the way you want me to. It saddens me to think that you cannot appreciate the little things that I can do. I know that the children is your only reason why you're still staying with me. I know that as of now you don't have any choice but to help me with them. I will always feel grateful for that sacrifice. I know that it's really hard for you to see someone you hate, to deal and be near with someone you don't love anymore. You always have a choice to leave but you never do. However grateful and thankful I am, it's tearing me apart to see your unhappiness and pain having me around. I'd rather set you free and loose you even you mean the whole world to me, even though you always think that I am so selfish, that I am the most wicked woman you've known, I still want what's best for you. I've caused you so much worries, disappointments, frustrations, embarrassments, and pains (all the negative feelings eh). It's not good that I stay in your life. Don't worry about your children with me, you can always have communications with them but for now, please forgive me.