" I didn't want to, I don't intend to, and I really hate myself for what I did...but I can't help it."
These words? They are like a last song syndrome that keeps reverberating in my head. The more I ignore it the more it sticks in me, and I'm afraid it is starting to overcome me. I need to do something to get out of this mess!
Why do people lie?
According to University of Massachusetts psychologist, Robert Feldman : "It's tied in with self-esteem, we find that as soon as people feel that their self-esteem is threatened, they immediately begin to lie at higher levels." The farther one's true self is from their ideal self, the more likely they are to lie to boost themselves up, in others' eyes or their eyes... or perhaps how they perceive others to perceive them.
Well, personally I do small lies to avoid conflict or to protect someone's feelings of getting hurt or getting upset. I think these are the top motivators for deception. But no matter what the intentions or reasons behind lying, it is still a sin.
The Bible says in James 3:8, "But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison."
The tongue can be the most wicked weapon on earth, so use it wisely and speak your words with caution. As Christians, we shouldn't fill our lives with deceit. We should always strive to leave honest, open lives that are full of trust and love. But, since we are all humans, sometimes it is hard to avoid lying. The option to lie should not be in a Christian's life; we should always speak the truth no matter what the end result may be. And besides there is always a way to being honest without being brutal.
Easier said than done. I'm sure some of you would agree with this. We all know that saying the truth is one of the hardest things in life. It takes a lot of guts and determination to stand with what is true. Maybe because most of us would rather stay in our comfort zone and avoid conflict that take some risk and cause bad feelings to others. Oftentimes, we don't really intend to lie to someone but because we prejudged their reactions towards the truth that we're going to tell them it compels us to say a lie. I have done it several times. And believe me, every time I did, I always get the worst feeling a person could feel in this world and that is FEAR.
Fear of getting caught.
Fear of not being trusted again.
Fears that I cannot even put into words.
Then I came to realize that lying will not do me any good at all. It may give us temporary comfort but it will definitely ruin our relationship with others in the long run.